


I'll Hope

by writermouse



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dehumanization, F/M, Introspection, POV First Person, Power Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writermouse/pseuds/writermouse
Summary: Peko's thinking about Fuyuhiko during the first night on the island.





	I'll Hope

My young master wants me not to react to our relationship while we’re on this island. That’s not unusual for him. He usually wants to deny our association, both for his own comfort and familial expectation. In situations where we aren’t dealing with his family or other Yakuza, it’s best for us to pretend not to be affiliated. It means he doesn’t have to feel as bad about relying on his family’s power, and it gives me cover to act in his favor more effectively. Any threat to him, would never see me coming, even if I’m conveniently just behind him, where I belong. He means for me not to do that, of course, but that’s impossible. But a bit more relevantly, this time, he told me that he wants me to be a “normal girl.” This was my chance to be a normal high school girl. But I have no idea how he expects me to do that. The only girl I feel I know well is Miss Natsumi and she could hardly be called normal. I don’t really know how to pretend to be a person very well. 

It might be easier now that things have gotten weird and tense because nobody will be expecting me to reminisce about my past or talk much about my hobbies when that bear has started talking about us killing each other. He’s black and white, but he’s not cute like a panda at all. There are details I can mention about my life, nothing identifying, but it comes off a bit sparse if I have too much time to talk to the same person. I do wish young master would let me stay with him though, especially now with things being dangerous. I’m sure he can take care of himself, of course, it would be an insult to suggest that he actually needed me, but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if I were allowed to stay by his side. 

I look around, and I see a lot of scared faces. Our classmates are children. So are we, I suppose. But they’re more horrified than we are. Well, me at least. Fuyuhiko, try as he might to hide it, has a bit of sensitivity regarding violence. It’s good that he’ll never be the one who has to get his hands dirty, unless he wants to. He’s still more well accustomed than the average high schooler, and hopefully that means he’ll not stress too much about this turn of events. I suppose there’s not much to be done tonight, at least. I can go back to the cottage that’s supposed to be mine for now. It should be alright to keep being quiet, for the most part. I can just follow along with the group and keep an eye on my young master as best as possible. 

After returning to my room, I indulge in a long shower to think things over. I’m being forced to idle, so I might as well take my time and enjoy the warm water. Sometimes I wonder how things always seem to turn out this way. No matter what I do, I seem to displease my young master. It seems strange at times because his father always says I’m a perfect tool. I’m strong and attentive, but warm when the situation calls for it. I even love Fuyuhiko, something his father points out regularly that he couldn’t have taught me to do. He talks about how lucky they were because I could have been anyone, as I was taken in as a baby, and he feels they made a very good investment. But it’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. I really hope I will be someday. I’d like to be good enough that Fuyuhiko would keep me by his side always. I guess this situation might be a chance to prove myself, depending on what he wants to do. 

I turn off the water and go to bed. Despite not much having actually happened, I feel a bit weary from the day. There was a time before I failed, at least enough for him to notice, and my thoughts drift there when I’m alone. We’re children and it’s even before he thinks my face is scary. He still babbles my name for fun and we’re the best of friends. I wish I could freeze time right here, with him clinging to my shirt and getting more excited with each repeat of my name, “Peko Peko PEKO.” He did that so many times, that it’s hard to remember a specific instance when I call it to mind. I just hear his sweet, happy voice, and see his carefree, excited smile. It could be a time when he wanted to show me something or he was pulling me to the kitchen to share some donuts. He could be trying to get me to play a game or just give him attention. Everything we did together back then made me so happy. 

A tear slips down my cheek and I’m grateful for the solitude, even if I don’t like it. He doesn’t need to see his tool being weak enough to cry because she’s lonely. I don’t mean to complain. It’s not my place and nothing is that bad. We’ve had good times since then, a lot of them. But back then, I didn’t know he’d ever tell me to go away. I felt safe in his arms, like I’d always belong there. Now, even when he’s happy enough with me, for the moment, to use me, I worry about when I’ll fail again. I wouldn’t worry so much if I could only figure out what I did wrong. But it’s not usually clear. I know part of it isn’t about me. I was a gift from his parents and he wants to stand on his own. His desire for independence and strength is admirable, even if being abandoned breaks my heart. My whole purpose is to make him safe and happy, so when he refuses to use me, I may as well not exist. But I’m stuck here anyway. A tool deprived of its purpose can only idle and wait to be useful enough again. I’m a human tool, so I can use the time to improve. I suppose I’m luckier than, say, a hammer, in that way. I can get better and try to be worthy. But, that’s a double edged sword too. Try as I might not to have unnecessary feelings, my love for him is a strength in other ways. I need it. And it makes me desperately miss him when I’m not allowed to be with him. 

Regardless of strength, loving my young master is a fundamental part of who I am. Without that, I wouldn’t be me. His words from earlier float back through my brain. I’m to be a normal girl. If that’s what you want, you can’t possibly think it will work for me not to know you, Fuyuhiko. If I’m allowed to have selfish feelings, like most girls are, I’m in love with you and I’ll want to spend every possible opportunity with you. But I know the order must be one to maintain a facsimile of normal. I will watch discreetly from a distance. I will pretend to bond with other classmates, should the occasion arise. I’ll protect him with my life. And I’ll wait for more specific instructions. I’ll hope to be allowed to be close to him soon.


End file.
